Collins Report

By Kevin “Coach” Collins

Liberalism is a sickness that should be laughed at and mocked. This 2008 year end roundup of stupid political correctness rules proves it. Join me in feeling superior to the nitwits who think this crap makes the world a better place.

Frightened of offending anyone, the University of Pittsburgh now allows men who “feel” they are women to move into women’s dorms with rights to shower with females and sit in the stalls next to them.

An Australian idiot has ruled Santa’s “Ho ho ho!” laugh is offensive. When stopping Down Under, Santa has to change his laugh to “Ha ha ha.”

Fishkill New York, a place named by Dutch settlers to mean “fish stream,” was recently asked by the morons in PETA to change its name to “Fishsave.”

Two reports from England show: a simpleton created an application for Air Traffic Controllers in Braille so as not to offend blind applicants; and a woman who escorts an epileptic child to school was forced to
undergo a criminal records check, to continue doing so, even though she’s the child’s Mother!

Not even other liberals are safe from being pulled down into the political correctness pit of stupidity. At Berkeley (where else?) a pack of liberals were “sitting in” to save a stand of trees and stop construction of a new athletic field. The chancellor called them racists because the new building would be used to attract “minority student athletes.”

The “student” protestors, three Latinos and a “Native American” were led by “Running Wolf” who cried that the chancellor was pitting “colored against colored.”

Of course no list of political correctness idiocy would be complete without mentioning the replacement of “Merry Christmas” with “Happy Holidays”
My friends they are wrong and we are right. Let’s laugh at them together.

The College of Alameda in California is considering suspending a student who was “caught” praying for the recovery of a sick professor. She is charged with committing, “disruptive or insulting behavior.”

A self important English professor at Cal-Riverside called having kindergarten children dress up as Pilgrims and Indians for a Thanksgiving play “dehumanizing” and serve as a “racist stereotype.” Do surprisingly she was listened to and the school capitulated and these nasty kindergartners have been stopped in their tracks – forever!

Finally, the dimwitted president of Florida Gulf Coast University chased his tail over how to celebrate the holiday season. Should there be Christmas decorations? How about Kwanzaa? “Oh my head hurts! There are so many choices!” he probably moaned. His final decision? He replaced ALL holiday celebrations with a new uplifting tradition: an “ugly sweater competition.” This one does have a happy ending. The jerk untwisted his head and brought back Christmas.

I’ll quit now while I’m ahead. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah to all!